tough love

since the helmet came off, alex has refused to go to sleep without putting up a fight. he screams and cries and carries on and we end up scooping him up and rocking him, sometimes for well over two hours, before he drifts off to dreamland.

on the advice of some of tripper’s friends and an article i read, tripper and i decided he would have to cry it out. tonight was the night. we weren’t going to give in and that’s all there was to it. so we got ready for bed and he was happy. we read a bedtime story and he was happy. we zipped up his sleepy sack and got the face. and then he cried. and then screamed. and then screamed as if someone was hacking off his leg with a knife. a dull knife. he did this for 16 excruciating minutes—crying for his mum and dad who did not come to him—and then he … just stopped? he wasn’t asleep, he just stopped crying. he quietly sobbed and sighed and caught his breath in his crib while his mum hysterically cried in the living room and his dad told her everything would be ok.

and then he fell asleep.

i hope the battle of wills is done. my heart can’t take another night of letting down my baby. i hate the thought that for the first time in his young life he went to bed not feeling loved. ugh.

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